Turning the Page.......

Turning the Page

Have you ever noticed that life is a constant change. We never stay in the same apartment or house forever. Neither do we stay at the same job or city forever. Some of us never even stay in the same “country” forever. I told my students that to me the definition of life is “change”. You have to be ready for change. You have to embrace change and adjust your life accordingly for it because there is no way to stop the changes. Like myself, you may try to fool yourself to think that you will be different, that THIS time I like what the status of my life is so much that I’m sure I can make it last forever.
It’s June 14, 2007 today. This has been one of my best and one of my most difficult days since I came to China. I have been giving my students at Nong Da their final exam all week. Most did well and a few did very well. I have used humor, jokes and tricks all year to get and hold their attention in class. My way of thinking is if the students are not paying attention to you….no matter what you do or say, they are not learning, at least not as much as they could and should. I have to thank my two brothers, Vinny and Anthony. They have a great sense of humor and I guess it rubbed off on me a little. It is that sense of humor that made my first year teaching here in China as enjoyable as it was. Did you see that last word in my last sentence? Go back and look, I’ll wait…….. The word is “was”. That’s the past tense of “is”. You see, today was one of the best, AND the worst days I can remember.
Let me tell you about a few of my students. One that you should know about is John. You see, John is a rather tall, smart, very good looking guy. John is pretty shy around me, at least he used to be. John would lower his head and I could almost hear him praying that I did not choose him to speak in class, not because he could not speak English well, but just because he is a little shy. A month or so ago I assigned the class the topic of pollution to talk about in class the following week. That week they all spoke very well on the topic. Then it was inevitable, I finally chose John to speak. He told me something and I did not understand what he meant. I asked him to please repeat it. He did and I still did not understand what he meant. I guess I made a face of disapproval as I moved on. After class John stopped at my desk and asked if we could talk a moment after everyone left. I agreed. John explained once again what he said earlier and what he meant. I immediately realized that he was correct all along and it was ME that was wrong. I apologized to him but I could see in his face he was hurt. I had caused him to “lose face” as they say here, in front of his classmates. It was a serious problem. Next week at the start of class, I asked for total silence, I wanted everyone’s attention. I explained last week when John and I spoke, I treated him as if he were wrong, but I have learned it was me that was wrong, not John. I formally apologized to him and asked if he could accept mine. He graciously did. It was at “that moment” when John and I bonded. From that day on, we spoke more, he smiled more, he volunteered more, he even sat with a female student (first time ever) and they worked as partners in class. Many times in the morning I greet my students with a handshake, a pat on the back or a pinch of their cheek. With John it was usually a handshake. After that day it was a firm handshake as he looked me right in the eye. I saw him grow from a shy boy to a man I am very proud to call my friend.
Bob Lee is the monitor of one of my classes. Bob Lee has helped me many times with anything I ever asked him. Sometimes we walked the halls to class together. One time we sang songs together at a big Karaoke club I took all my students to. He has always been there for me. Rock, another class monitor, has become a very good friend to me. He sends me messages of encouragement occasionally. He helps maintain class spirit. He volunteers to help the new freshmen students feel more at home and find the things they need on campus. He had me even go talk to them a few times to show them we are all nice, happy, helpful people here. One big family. Tony….another monitor, is one of the most helpful. He is always willing to help me. I know why his classmates voted him monitor. He is a great guy. Now for Mirror. Mirror is hard to describe. She is very pretty, but there is so much more about her than meets the eye. Mirror has a very quick mind. She will argue at the drop of a hat if she does not agree with you, and I encourage that. I push for independent thinking and she is at the head of the class on that. Someday Mirror will do something special here in China. I don’t know what or when, but I would love to be there when it happens.
Several of my students have medical issues, some very serious. You would almost never know. They never complain. They come to class and work hard. Some need surgery. Some need medical help. Some will have a very difficult future, while one or two may have a very limited future. These same students never fail to laugh at the silly jokes and games I bring to class. These same students are the ones that made my first year teaching here so much easier. Life is like a book with many pages. There is something new and exciting on each page. You can read the page quickly or maybe a little slower if you like, but sooner or later you reach the end of that page and have to continue. You have to turn that page and see what life has in store for you, your next adventure. I reached the end of a page today. It was coming all week, and I tried to tell myself it was not here and not important anyway. I was very wrong. Today was my last day as teacher to my 150 sophomores. Today I turned the page in my book of life. Next year I will be teaching sophomores again and will have a whole new group of students. My current students will move along and turn their pages in their books and become Juniors, one year closer to graduating from college. I spoke to them all this week one by one. I explained best I could how life goes on. These are my friends, in fact more like my family. I love them one and all and truly hope to stay in touch with them for the rest of my life. My dream is that a few of them tell their future children, or even grand children, of the silly American teacher they had in college and that “magic stick” he used to make them laugh. They taught me as much or more than I taught them. They taught me about friendship, loyalty and love. A little piece of them will remain in my heart the rest of my life and I hope a little of me stays with them.

Click on the link here http://my-china15.blogspot.com/ to get to my next page. See you there.

China Trip 8
The Public Bath

Hi to all my regular readers. There are many things here in China that are a world apart from anything I ever experienced in my life so far. One of them is to experience a Spa or “Public Bath” as it is called here. When I first heard that term I was not sure what to think. In USA the words public and bath are never used in the same sentence. A bath is a very private affair…maybe with your wife or girl friend, but that’s all. I was invited to one by a good friend here who is in China’s upper class. The driver came to pick me up at my home at 3PM. I was told that others in our group would be there waiting for me. The driver was becoming my friend. We have seen each other on many occasions now. We arrived and the bath house looked very nice from outside. A very big, very expensive looking building. Looked like about 5-7 stories tall, bright colors including red and bright gold letters. We parked in back and there were several attendants to assist you. We entered and were in a very big lobby area similar to a very posh hotel. Many big, leather couches and chairs. Well dressed attendants all over the place to help and guide you in every step of the event.
Start with taking off your shoes. They take them to lock up and give you a pair of slip on sandals and a numbered tag to claim your shoes later. I am escorted to an elevator and we go up to the third floor. I have no idea what to expect here. All my senses are on high alert for new sights, sounds or smells. The elevator stops and we exit. The carpeting, wall coverings and adornments are all beautiful and expensive looking. Immediately to my left I see a bar with a young lady attendant. Beer, alcohol, juice, what ever drink you like. We are escorted a little farther to a private room with three beds and several chairs and big screen TV. The others are already here. Paper work is scattered on the bed as they all talk business. They see me and all smile as I am introduced to the ones I do not know. Oh, I forgot to tell you, but I appear to be the only foreigner in the building and for sure the only one in this group. We sit a few minutes to make small talk……very small as I do not understand Chinese nor they English.
The friend that invited me asks one of the other men to take me through the process and stay with me the whole time. He is very friendly and we are off. Down the elevator to another floor. I follow him and he keeps smiling. We approach a very big door and I see a sign next to it that reads, “All ladies stop here”. I guess we are about to enter a men only place. In we go. There is a locker room type area on my right. I can see through the archway on my left that this is where the bath process begins. You will soon see why I said “bath process”. My new friend makes sign language for me to take off my clothes. Off comes the shirt. He motions for more. The T shirt goes. He still smiles and motions for more. Pants go and he still motions. Now there are two young men standing there is assist if necessary. The embarrassment is beginning. In one nervous moment it all comes off. For all of you reading this that are not from USA, public nudity is not at all common there. There are several naked men wandering about. By now I am positive that you must leave all your clothes, as well as ANY trace of modesty you may have, in the locker room. The floor is tiled in white. It’s beautiful but wet tile is very slippery. (Remember that wet tile comment) These two young men are there to be sure I don’t fall. The room we enter is huge. There are people, men, all over…all naked. He points toward the big pool, I mean bath, and I walk that way. I was given a small hand towel that I am to take everywhere I go here. I sit on the edge of the bath and my friend is looking at me a little strange. I’m thinking, “is my zipper open?” It can’t be that, remember, no pants. I start to swing my legs around to get into the bath and he acts very quickly to stop me. It seems you are supposed to shower before you bathe. Silly Lao Wi (foreigner), I was not aware. To the shower I go. There are four banks of 5 showers, most of them filled with guys showering. He motions for me to use the items on the rack near my shower to wash with. There are many colored bottles all labeled in Chinese (remember, I’m in China not Orlando). I motion to him I don’t know what to use and he assists. The white bottle for body washing and the green one for shampoo. If you remember from my first page on my blog, I was stared at by everyone everywhere I went. Let me tell you, this place is no exception. I am the only foreigner in the building. When I walk the streets and I’m stared at it’s a little embarrassing. In HERE when they all stare, it brings embarrassment to a whole new level never seen by mortal man. Do you know what a turtle does when he gets nervous? Keep that in mind.
Ok, shower finished and we head to the bath. I sit on the wet tile at the edge of the bath, swing my feet around to put them in the bath, but keep spinning around and almost fell off the edge of the bath. I TOLD you this place was slippery. Wet skin + wet tile = me feeling like a spinning top and even more embarrassed. Those two guys stop my continuing rotation before I start to form my own gravity like a spinning planet. I plop my legs into the bath up to my knees and my eyes bulge and my ears pop like I was at a high altitude. I did not see the sign saying the water was 48c. Hmmm….. 48c, that translates to 118.4 F. WOW that’s hot. My face is as red as the China National Flag. I ease in a little more. Remember that turtle? I finally get all the way into the water up to my neck. It’s not too bad. In fact, after a few minutes it feels very good. I start to relax and look around. This place reminds me of pictures I have seen of the royal bath in ancient Rome. The lighting, the pillars rising up from the middle of the bath to spread across the ceiling, it’s beautiful. I look to me left, oops, three naked men there. Now I look to my right, oh no, five naked guys there. I turn back to the edge of the bath where I got in and there is a naked guy sleeping on his back right in front of where I left my slippers. I can’t look in any direction and be comfortable so I look UP admiring the structure. At least no naked guys there.
After a little while my personal attendant motion to me to get out of the bath and follow them. These young men working there are the only people dressed. I follow to a steam room where they motion for me to go in. I entered and two things happened immediately. First, my glasses fogged over completely causing total blindness and a little more nervous tension. Second, about three seconds later, my first breath caused lung-searing pain in my chest. This is the hottest steam room on the planet. I cannot even breathe in here. I’m also blind and cannot see the exit. I take the very small towel I was given that I was wearing like a loin cloth in a Tarzan movie, and placed it over my face to filter or cool the steam even two degrees so I could at least breathe again. Scenes from the movie “Back Draft” were racing through my mind with rooms totally engulfed in flames and the brave fire fighters trying to rescue the victims about to perish by fire. Where were MY fire fighters? It took me about five minutes to breathe with any form of normalcy. I took off my metal framed glasses which were now searing my face from the heat like a steak on a George Foreman Grill, and I could see a little. What I saw was a medium sized steam room with seats arranged around the sides of the room. The seats looked like pretty big rocks, wider at the bottom than at the top. The wider base for stability and the smaller top for sitting on. This room was hotter than any place I have been. The steam was very hot, the air was very hot, and the walls were very hot. It did not take my brain long to warn me that those rock-like seats were ALSO very hot They were oval shaped on top, maybe .2 meters long and .1 meters wide at the place designed to sit on. I had very vivid images in my mind as to what would happen if I placed my bare, naked, tender butt on that very hot branding iron, er, I mean seat. I wisely opted to stand. A few minutes later I was again motioned to come out and follow them to another room. My loin cloth and I obediently followed. This was also a very hot room, a Sauna I believe. There were wooden benches all around the room. One attendant placed large white towels on the benches so I could safely sit. In about 10 minutes or so, here they come again to escort me to yet another stopping point on this journey. I am pointed to the far end of the room where I see a row of about 20 white massage tables with a masseuse at each one. They were all occupied except for one near the far end. Here I go, big naked guy marching past 18 tables with 18 naked guys and 18 masseuses all looking at me. The stress continues. At the assigned table there is my masseuse. He gestures for me to sit on the table. He takes off my sandals and I lay on my back with my “loin cloth” properly positioned. The very first thing he does is try to take my loin cloth, my security blanket of sorts. I said “try” because my hand was firmly gripping at my very last ounce, I mean milligram (remember its metric here), of dignity. He was persistent and managed to pry my towel from my hand. I asked if we could try for best 2 out of 3 attempts, but he could not understand my feeble attempt at humor.
I was trying to think of a way to mentally relax in this stressful environment. I remembered a trick for giving a lecture to a group of people. If you imagine all the people in their underwear you would feel more relaxed as they MUST be more stressed than you. That would never work here. These people were already naked. Think, think, there must be another way. When your brain is processing 1.3 million thoughts per second, it some times grasps the best it can do at such short notice. This was one of them. My 10% of gray matter usage grabbed at the “Ostrich Theory”. That’s the part where an Ostrich sticks his head in the sand when he is scared. He figures if he cannot see whatever is threatening him, then “it” cannot see him. You don’t see many Ostriches running around, so I don’t think it works to well. It’s all I can think of so I close my eyes and play Ostrich. I imagine my loin cloth is in place and there are walls all around me so others cannot see me. I know it’s not true, but give me a break will you? It’s the best I have for now. The masseuse rolls up my towel into a very tight cylindrical shape and forces it into a special cover made for this towel. Do you know what a “Lufa” is? You know, that thing women use in the shower to remove dead skin. It’s slightly rough and does a pretty good job I guess. Well let me tell you….this special cover he just packed full of my towel is what I now call a “SUPER LUFA”. This thing is a cross between a body scrubber and a carpenter’s belt sander. He began to rub every inch of my body with this thing and about 200 pounds of pressure. I remember from junior high school science class that our skin is made up of three layers. This guy was totally removing the complete first layer. He was causing pain right at the threshold of me stopping him, but never quite crossed over it. Top, bottom, front and back, he did a body job Earl Schive would have been proud of. Two coats of paste wax and I’d be ready to go. If you don’t know who Earl Schive is, ask someone older than you. They help me up, put my sandals on and point me towards the big archway leading to the locker room area. I’m doing the wet tile two step shuffle towards my clothes and some mental safety, when all of a sudden I’m jumped by two more guys. These make me sit on a plush, padded, white towel covered bench. I try to make a run for my clothes but it’s a futile attempt. These guys are armed with two more big white towels and begin drying my body. By now I have given up. My mind is completely drained. I let them do as they wish. My Ostrich theory has failed. Nothing is working. My dignity and modesty are completely gone. After a few minutes they release me to get my clothes. As I slip back into my jeans, I can feel a twinge of safety returning. My personal guide is smiling as he leads me out and back towards the room where the others are waiting for me.
As I enter the room, the others are all laughing and smiling. They know what I just went through, and though quite common for them, was a world’s first for me. They were still talking business. In a few minutes they saw I was getting a little bored so two of the guys motioned for me to follow them yet again. This whole building is extremely plush. We walk past the bar and take a left turn. At the end of the hall we enter a very big room with over-stuffed lounge chairs and foot rests along the side and very nice exercise equipment every where else. A local guy is sitting on a machine that you are supposed to use your upper arms in a wing flapping like motion and bring them together against the weights attached. He was not able to do even one. The two guys I’m with smile and ask me to try it. I sit and do ten reps that gets everyone looking like I just did some Herculean feat. We are up and moving again. We walk up another hall and we come to a woman in a well lit store like area with mirrors and a barber chair in the center. Her job is hair stylist. She will cut, comb, perm or whatever you need done to your hair. Up the hall and another left turn. We enter a real big room that looks like a movie theater but much nicer. Very big, plush recliners arranged in rows of six across and about ten rows deep. We sit in them and watch the big screen in front. Dim lights, fresh fruit and hot green tea are served. Very nice. I can get used to this for sure. After a while we return to our room, finish dressing and descend to the lobby to reclaim our shoes. Though this event caused stress that on a scale of 1-10 managed a solid 57, it was quite pleasurable. My skin felt like never before, and at this moment I was unaware just how good it would feel the next day. It was actually like my skin was reborn. Hard to describe, but if you come to China you have to try one of the upscale public baths.