Have you ever noticed that life is a constant change. We never stay in the same apartment or house forever. Neither do we stay at the same job or city forever. Some of us never even stay in the same “country” forever. I told my students that to me the definition of life is “change”. You have to be ready for change. You have to embrace change and adjust your life accordingly for it because there is no way to stop the changes. Like myself, you may try to fool yourself to think that you will be different, that THIS time I like what the status of my life is so much that I’m sure I can make it last forever.
It’s June 14, 2007 today. This has been one of my best and one of my most difficult days since I came to China. I have been giving my students at Nong Da their final exam all week. Most did well and a few did very well. I have used humor, jokes and tricks all year to get and hold their attention in class. My way of thinking is if the students are not paying attention to you….no matter what you do or say, they are not learning, at least not as much as they could and should. I have to thank my two brothers, Vinny and Anthony. They have a great sense of humor and I guess it rubbed off on me a little. It is that sense of humor that made my first year teaching here in China as enjoyable as it was. Did you see that last word in my last sentence? Go back and look, I’ll wait…….. The word is “was”. That’s the past tense of “is”. You see, today was one of the best, AND the worst days I can remember.Let me tell you about a few of my students. One that you should know about is John. You see, John is a rather tall, smart, very good looking guy. John is pretty shy around me, at least he used to be. John would lower his head and I could almost hear him praying that I did not choose him to speak in class, not because he could not speak English well, but just because he is a little shy. A month or so ago I assigned the class the topic of pollution to talk about in class the following week. That week they all spoke very well on the topic. Then it was inevitable, I finally chose John to speak. He told me something and I did not understand what he meant. I asked him to please repeat it. He did and I still did not understand what he meant. I guess I made a face of disapproval as I moved on. After class John stopped at my desk and asked if we could talk a moment after everyone left. I agreed. John explained once again what he said earlier and what he meant. I immediately realized that he was correct all along and it was ME that was wrong. I apologized to him but I could see in his face he was hurt. I had caused him to “lose face” as they say here, in front of his classmates. It was a serious problem. Next week at the start of class, I asked for total silence, I wanted everyone’s attention. I explained last week when John and I spoke, I treated him as if he were wrong, but I have learned it was me that was wrong, not John. I formally apologized to him and asked if he could accept mine. He graciously did. It was at “that moment” when John and I bonded. From that day on, we spoke more, he smiled more, he volunteered more, he even sat with a female student (first time ever) and they worked as partners in class. Many times in the morning I greet my students with a handshake, a pat on the back or a pinch of their cheek. With John it was usually a handshake. After that day it was a firm handshake as he looked me right in the eye. I saw him grow from a shy boy to a man I am very proud to call my friend.
Bob Lee is the monitor of one of my classes. Bob Lee has helped me many times with anything I ever asked him. Sometimes we walked the halls to class together. One time we sang songs together at a big Karaoke club I took all my students to. He has always been there for me. Rock, another class monitor, has become a very good friend to me. He sends me messages of encouragement occasionally. He helps maintain class spirit. He volunteers to help the new freshmen students feel more at home and find the things they need on campus. He had me even go talk to them a few times to show them we are all nice, happy, helpful people here. One big family. Tony….another monitor, is one of the most helpful. He is always willing to help me. I know why his classmates voted him monitor. He is a great guy. Now for Mirror. Mirror is hard to describe. She is very pretty, but there is so much more about her than meets the eye. Mirror has a very quick mind. She will argue at the drop of a hat if she does not agree with you, and I encourage that. I push for independent thinking and she is at the head of the class on that. Someday Mirror will do something special here in China. I don’t know what or when, but I would love to be there when it happens.
Several of my students have medical issues, some very serious. You would almost never know. They never complain. They come to class and work hard. Some need surgery. Some need medical help. Some will have a very difficult future, while one or two may have a very limited future. These same students never fail to laugh at the silly jokes and games I bring to class. These same students are the ones that made my first year teaching here so much easier. Life is like a book with many pages. There is something new and exciting on each page. You can read the page quickly or maybe a little slower if you like, but sooner or later you reach the end of that page and have to continue. You have to turn that page and see what life has in store for you, your next adventure. I reached the end of a page today. It was coming all week, and I tried to tell myself it was not here and not important anyway. I was very wrong. Today was my last day as teacher to my 150 sophomores. Today I turned the page in my book of life. Next year I will be teaching sophomores again and will have a whole new group of students. My current students will move along and turn their pages in their books and become Juniors, one year closer to graduating from college. I spoke to them all this week one by one. I explained best I could how life goes on. These are my friends, in fact more like my family. I love them one and all and truly hope to stay in touch with them for the rest of my life. My dream is that a few of them tell their future children, or even grand children, of the silly American teacher they had in college and that “magic stick” he used to make them laugh. They taught me as much or more than I taught them. They taught me about friendship, loyalty and love. A little piece of them will remain in my heart the rest of my life and I hope a little of me stays with them.
Click on the link here http://my-china15.blogspot.com/ to get to my next page. See you there.
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